You Can’t Go Back, Only Forward

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You Can’t Go Back, Only Forward

You can’t go back, only forward. These are words that have been in my mind a lot this week.  Often situations arise during your life that you wish you could go back and have a do-over. Although I know that isn’t possible, a Mom can wish right?

As a parent of three young adults there are days I wish they were still younger. We had our tough times: sicknesses, school “I dont want to’s”, and disagreements. Sometimes decisions made they didn’t agree with, or that they made, and had to suffer the outcome of their actions. I felt I had more ‘control’. I was able to be there for them when they were sick or hurt. I had the ability to help them when needed or be there to comfort them.

This week has been a challenge for me. I have struggled with not being able to be in Hawaii with  my oldest son. We woke up Easter Sunday to a phone call from his wife (who lives here in NY) that he had been in a serious motorcycle accident. Your mind rushes from, “maybe it isn’t as bad as it sounds” to the other end of the spectrum, “what if he was no longer with us”.  As a mother, I wanted to rush to be by his side. Since this wasn’t possible, my heart has ached a lot this past week.

A mother’s love and nuturing doesn’t end when they hit 18. It doesn’t end when they go into the Marine Corp, or go to college away from home. The helpless feeling you feel knowing your last child will be going off to college in the fall, and you no longer have them coming home after school each day. I know they have to grow-up and find their way, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

I have cried a lot this past week. I have struggled with being able to write this as I am not a “public”  person when it comes to struggles or privacy of what our family might be going through. I want him to just come home, to be here with family where he can have the mental and physical support. His wife can’t stay out there for the duration as their 3  year old is back here waiting for their return. To make him stay there without that support I feel could hinder his recovery. Having a fellow Marine “take care of him” isn’t the same as family. I know some would say, he signed up and he has to fulfill his contract, but he was just about to get his 32 days terminal leave this weekend. That tells me that they no longer needed him; and now with his injuries he isn’t much use to them anymore.

His injuries include a separated left shoulder, 2 broken ribs, 7 broken vertebraes from T1-T7 which are just below the neck. (his back isn’t ‘broken’ but the vertebraes themselves are.) He has severe road rash on his elbows, forearm, knee, and also a good size one on  the left side below his rib area. A good size gash on his shin, a fracture in his upper cheek bone which caused a black eye, and a broken toe. He also had a collapsed lung on his left side which caused a hemo and nemothorax so he has had to be on oxygen on and off.

It is painful for him to walk and he is still on pain medicine.  I am thankful that his friends that were at the scene cared enought to contact his wife. We were not contacted by the military until that Monday afternoon. Due to the fact that he wasn’t considered life threatening; bedside  family wasn’t requested or needed I guess in their opinion.

I am asking for prayers that he is able to come home sooner than later to be with his family. We also feel blessed that this accident didn’t cause a worse outcome than it has. He was wearing his protective gear and was not speeding which made me feel better.

As writing this I have been notified by his wife that they discharged him from the military hospital and they are in a hotel. The military continues to amaze me. Less than a week after his accident with the injuries he sustained. Incredible.

I am not sure he is going to be happy I wrote this; so we are asking that unless you have been contacted, to please allow him time to rest. If you feel you really need to contact us; feel free to do so through facebook. If you have been contacted by his wife, please feel free to check in with her for updates. They are six hours behind us, so please keep that in mind also.

I just felt it was time to share, so if I don’t act myself at all times that is why.

 

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About Becky Willis

Love to Blog, promote Disney/Marvel/Pixar Movies, Book Promotions & life, Self-Employed Website 'Fixer'-like Olivia Pope but different. My oldest son is finally out of the USMC and is 23 years old, he has been married just over a year and has a 3 year old step-daughter, my 2nd oldest son is 20 & currently just finished his Freshman year at SUNY Alfred as a Freshman, he is now employed at Ferrario as an auto tech for the summer, & my daughter who is our youngest just graduated high school & will be going to college this coming fall for Psychology at SUNY Purchase. I have been married for over 18 years to a wonderful man and reside just outside of Watkins Glen, NY.

Comments

  1. I can’t even imagine how your family must be feeling with him so far away and being hurt! My husband was in a motorcycle accident a few years ago and I was an hour away at work and that hour to get home felt like a year! I’ll be thinking of you and sending him lots of healing vibes!

  2. Sending love and prayers to you all for a speedy recovery and that he will soon be home with his family where he belongs!

  3. Sending your our thoughts and prayers! Thinking of you!

  4. Becky I can’t even imagine what this has put
    You all through , I just want to say you and your family are in my prayers, I am hoping for a quick recovery.

    • Thank you Susan. I am overwhelmed by not only the support of family and friends, but my blogger friends in this difficult time we have been going through.

  5. Hugs, love, positive thoughts, anything you need – you’ve got from me! How scary! Living 1300 miles apart from my family, I totally understand that frustration of not being able to be there when you want to be, but I can’t imagine the torture of not being with your child in a time of need. I am keeping you all in my thoughts!!!

    • Thank you Leila. Your prayers for our family is very much appreciated. We are blessed it wasn’t worse than it is and look forward to his return.

  6. Becky,
    My heart hurts just reading this. I can’t imagine as a Mom how the minutes must feel like hours. Our children are always our children. I will pray for his speedy recovery and be here if you just want to vent, cry or talk about nothing. Your in my thoughts and prayers and will be.

  7. You know that you’ve got my prayers. Wish I could be there to help.

  8. So sorry to hear this Becky. Your family is in my prayers. Hopefully they send him home quickly so he can recover with his baby girl by his side.

  9. I am so sorry about this. Hope he feels better soon and I can imagine what you are going through!!! Sending prayers towards you and family

  10. Wow! I can’t imagine. I’m so glad that he is ok and will recover. I will pray for him to have a quick recovery and for you too as it has to be soooo difficult not being able to be by your son’s side. I know you want to! It sounds like he has a good support system there to take care of him too. Take care of yourself.

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  1. […] thoughts and prayers go out to our DAM Web Guru Becky Willis.  Her son was in a very serious motorcycle accident on Easter Sunday and as you know a […]



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